A man had lost his job. He had an interview for a new job, but traffic kept him from making the appointment. The lottery ticket he bought that day didn't even win. He was having a bad day.
After dinner, he went for a walk along the beach. As he strolled along, barefoot in the sand, with the sun setting in the West, his foot struck something. He reached down and picked it up. It was a small bag full of marbles. "Just my luck," he thought.
Then, he had an idea. He took a marble out of the bag and tossed it into the sea as he said, “This for that stupid job. I didn't like that job anyway.”
“That felt good,” he said as he took out the second marble. "This is for traffic. I hate traffic."
“That felt really good,” he said as he grabbed the next one.
This went on for the better part of an hour. In the beginning, the marbles went pretty fast. As he was getting to the bottom of the bag, he really had to think. But, over the course of that hour, he had let go of all of the things that had been holding him back. He had two marbles left. He took one of them in his hand and said, “Here is for all of the good choices I am going to make going forward in my life." He threw that marble as hard as he had ever thrown anything in his life. As he heard in plunk in the water, he decided to keep the last marble as a memory of this night. He had not felt so good in a long time. He had thrown all of his troubles into the sea and he was ready for a new beginning. He put the marble in his pocket and went home with a new bounce in his step.
At home, his wife noticed a difference in him right away. She asked, "What have you been up to?"
He smiled and took the marble out of his pocket and showed it to her. He was going to tell her how he threw all of his troubles into the sea and he was ready for a fresh start.
Before he could say a word, she said, “What a beautiful Pearl. Where did you get it?”
He looked at his hand. He was, in fact, holding an absolutely beautiful pearl. A pearl that would change their lives, forever. He sold the pearl and paid all of their debt and did get that new beginning. From time to time he thought about that walk along the beach. His old self would have been full of self pity for all the pearls he threw away. His new self knew that is was the best walk he had ever taken.
There three morals to this story:
The first moral is:
What looks like a bag of marbles may be a bag of pearls - These pearls are your friends and your family. Your clients and your referral partners. Your neighbors and anyone else you associate with. Are you shining these pearls and wearing them proudly. Or, are you throwing them away one by one?
The second moral is:
When you let go of your troubles good things will happen to you. So many people are focused on all of the negative situations around them and they never see the amazing world that is right in front of them.
And, finally, the most important moral of this story is:
When you bring home a pearl to mamma, she will be happy. And, when mamma is happy, nothing else matters.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Communication
Do you really want to reach out and catch your dreams?
Then, you must learn how to communicate. Good communication skills are the center of every successful
relationship. Bad communication skills are involved in every failure. Most of the problem with communicators is not that they do not know what to say. It is that they do not know how to say it. Something pops into their mind falls immediately out of their mouth.
Effective communication is the secret to getting what you want out of life. To be effective, the communication has to be honest, sincere and open. It has to be well thought out in advance. It has to be arranged with the receiver in mind. A wise man once told me the secret to successful communication. He was not a wise man when he told it to me. Actually, he was probably the opposite in my eyes at that time. You see, the wise man was my father. When I was a teenager, he did not know near as much as he knows now.
What he told me was this, “Tell people what they want to hear. This will make them listen to you. Then, while they are listening, tell them what they need to hear.” I asked him one day where he learned this profound bit of knowledge. He said he picked it up by watching politicians. They do it all the time.
Think about this the next time you are going to communicate. It does not matter if it is a one on one situation or if you are speaking to an audience. Take the time to learn and understand what you listeners want to hear. Next, think about what you want them to hear. Then, plan your communication so that it all of this information is included. Finally, follow up with them to ensure that what they think you said is actually, what you meant to communicate. Communicate effectively and you will be getting even closer to achieving your dreams.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Coach Papa
Then, you must learn how to communicate. Good communication skills are the center of every successful
relationship. Bad communication skills are involved in every failure. Most of the problem with communicators is not that they do not know what to say. It is that they do not know how to say it. Something pops into their mind falls immediately out of their mouth.
Effective communication is the secret to getting what you want out of life. To be effective, the communication has to be honest, sincere and open. It has to be well thought out in advance. It has to be arranged with the receiver in mind. A wise man once told me the secret to successful communication. He was not a wise man when he told it to me. Actually, he was probably the opposite in my eyes at that time. You see, the wise man was my father. When I was a teenager, he did not know near as much as he knows now.
What he told me was this, “Tell people what they want to hear. This will make them listen to you. Then, while they are listening, tell them what they need to hear.” I asked him one day where he learned this profound bit of knowledge. He said he picked it up by watching politicians. They do it all the time.
Think about this the next time you are going to communicate. It does not matter if it is a one on one situation or if you are speaking to an audience. Take the time to learn and understand what you listeners want to hear. Next, think about what you want them to hear. Then, plan your communication so that it all of this information is included. Finally, follow up with them to ensure that what they think you said is actually, what you meant to communicate. Communicate effectively and you will be getting even closer to achieving your dreams.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Coach Papa
Friday, March 21, 2014
Direction in Your Life
A map instructor early in my military career made two statements that have stuck with me for life.
The first was, “It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there?” The second was, “You are never lost if you don’t care where you are.
Profound? Not at the time. They seemed like a waste of breath. It took years before the actual meaning of those statements filtered through this thick skull of mine. Roughly translated, the second phrase means this. “You are never going to be successful if you don’t care what you are doing.” If you are content with any job, as long as it provides enough money to keep a roof over your head and food on your table and electricity to your refrigerator for cold beer, then you are not going to be successful. Unless, of course, that is your definition of success.
Or, maybe that is the problem. You have never defined success.
What does success mean to you?
What do you have to do to achieve it?
Answer these two questions, and you are on your way to becoming a leader.
The good news lies in the first phrase. It doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done.
Have you made some mistakes in your life?
Did you not go to college when your peers did because you wanted to “Relax” a little?
Did you get involved with the bleeders of society?
Did you fail to apply yourself in school?
Have negative influences taken over your life?
Well, take it back!
It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now.
Where are you going to go?
Where are you going to go? That is asking for the definition of success that I mentioned earlier.
What is success to you? Is it an office job with the big bucks? Is it inventing a better mouse trap? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer? Is it teaching, or coaching, or farming or being the best darn diesel mechanic in the state?
What it is doesn’t matter as long as you have defined what success means to you. That definition is the motivation that will give you a reason to go on.
“-How are you going to get there?” Once you have defined success, you must find the path that will take you there. The path is relatively easy to find. It is right in front you. All you have to do is to open your eyes and follow it. It is kind like doing a maze. The easiest way to solve it is to look at the end and follow the path back to the beginning. In this case, you look at your definition of success. That is your goal. Then you start back tracking to where you are in your life right now. As with a maze, the objects that look like road blocks from the front are simply obstacles that can be readily overcome.
Here is an example: You are a woman in your mid thirties who always wanted to be a nurse. However, things came along that got in your way. Road blocks shall we say. Things like husbands, children, and time. Minor details. Then, one day you sit down and look at your definition of success. That definition has multiple parts. To be a good mother, a good wife and to become a nurse. You could say to yourself that two out of three ain’t bad. Or, you could start checking into nursing programs and see if there is a way that you can achieve all three. You might be surprised at the answer. Just ask my wife. She is the person in this example. She wasn’t satisfied with two out of three. Now, she has it all.
You have to have direction in your life to become a leader. It is mandatory. If you are not going any place, nobody is going to follow you. That direction is your definition of success. If you are happy going to that job just because it pays the bills, then by all means keep going. It leaves more room at the top for the rest of us.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have and amazing day,
Coach Papa
The first was, “It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there?” The second was, “You are never lost if you don’t care where you are.
Profound? Not at the time. They seemed like a waste of breath. It took years before the actual meaning of those statements filtered through this thick skull of mine. Roughly translated, the second phrase means this. “You are never going to be successful if you don’t care what you are doing.” If you are content with any job, as long as it provides enough money to keep a roof over your head and food on your table and electricity to your refrigerator for cold beer, then you are not going to be successful. Unless, of course, that is your definition of success.
Or, maybe that is the problem. You have never defined success.
What does success mean to you?
What do you have to do to achieve it?
Answer these two questions, and you are on your way to becoming a leader.
The good news lies in the first phrase. It doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done.
Have you made some mistakes in your life?
Did you not go to college when your peers did because you wanted to “Relax” a little?
Did you get involved with the bleeders of society?
Did you fail to apply yourself in school?
Have negative influences taken over your life?
Well, take it back!
It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now.
Where are you going to go?
Where are you going to go? That is asking for the definition of success that I mentioned earlier.
What is success to you? Is it an office job with the big bucks? Is it inventing a better mouse trap? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer? Is it teaching, or coaching, or farming or being the best darn diesel mechanic in the state?
What it is doesn’t matter as long as you have defined what success means to you. That definition is the motivation that will give you a reason to go on.
“-How are you going to get there?” Once you have defined success, you must find the path that will take you there. The path is relatively easy to find. It is right in front you. All you have to do is to open your eyes and follow it. It is kind like doing a maze. The easiest way to solve it is to look at the end and follow the path back to the beginning. In this case, you look at your definition of success. That is your goal. Then you start back tracking to where you are in your life right now. As with a maze, the objects that look like road blocks from the front are simply obstacles that can be readily overcome.
Here is an example: You are a woman in your mid thirties who always wanted to be a nurse. However, things came along that got in your way. Road blocks shall we say. Things like husbands, children, and time. Minor details. Then, one day you sit down and look at your definition of success. That definition has multiple parts. To be a good mother, a good wife and to become a nurse. You could say to yourself that two out of three ain’t bad. Or, you could start checking into nursing programs and see if there is a way that you can achieve all three. You might be surprised at the answer. Just ask my wife. She is the person in this example. She wasn’t satisfied with two out of three. Now, she has it all.
You have to have direction in your life to become a leader. It is mandatory. If you are not going any place, nobody is going to follow you. That direction is your definition of success. If you are happy going to that job just because it pays the bills, then by all means keep going. It leaves more room at the top for the rest of us.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have and amazing day,
Coach Papa
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Why Are Coaches Idiots?
Are coaches idiots?
First of all, we must agree that coaches are in fact idiots.
Help me out here. I want you to think about the person that most often becomes a coach. He was a competitor. Quite often, a very talented competitor. He was a person who prepared religiously for every match and gave it his all once the competition began. Then, once it became clear to him or her that they were no longer able to effectively compete, they became a coach to help others be the best they could be.
This person is still the most caring, hard working, dedicated individual he or she ever was during their competitive years. Then, it happens. They are coaching their team in their first competition. During the competition a referee makes a bad call and the coach is all over him or her for it. Next, one of the athletes makes a huge mistake that is costly to the team. So the coach subs for the athlete and gives them a piece of his mind at the top of his voice. The pattern continues. The parents, athletes and referees all think this coach is a clown.
They are wrong. This young coach probably has the potential to become one of the finest coaches in the sport. The problem is chemicals. That’s right, chemicals. You see, when a competitor is preparing for a match, their body is sending out a number of chemicals to help the body sustain throughout this intense period. It is the age old case of flight or flight preparation that starts the adrenalin and other chemicals loading into the system. Once the competition begins, these chemicals are being used by the body to carry them though. The coach was once a competitor. A very good competitor. His body goes through the same preparation for a match as it did when he was young and competing. The problem is that now he is standing on the side line with no where to burn off these chemicals, except through his mouth and his actions. So he does. And, since he does, he gives all the appearance of being an idiot. Such is not the case. As a matter of fact, with a little proper training, this coach can learn to use those chemicals to turn him or her into to the budding genius that they probably are.
First of all, the coach must learn to channel their energy into thought processes, not action processes.
Second, in understanding the nature of his or her situation, they shoud take the time to do a some exercises that will burn off enough of the excess chemicals to get them down to a managable level. Then, when the match begins, they should have something to capture their thoughts on. A clipboard, a note book or maybe a minature tape recorder.
Finally, they should train themselves not to say a word to the team, or an individual athlete, until they have talked the situation over with a personal confidant. Someone who can help to keep the situation in perspective. If the team is not getting the calls from the referee, the coach should talk it over with the referee in a calm manner, asking for an explanation. If there is time out called, or a substitution made to discuss problems the team is having, talk over what you are going to say with your assistant. Or, anyone else you may have identified as your sounding board. It is vital that the coach remains in positive control of all situations at all times.
The reason you must remain in control is that you are not just training these young men and women in the sport you are coaching. You are training them on how to deal with life’s little situations. If you are an idiot, than you are training idiots. If you are calm, cool and under control, then you are training these fine young people to become the future leaders of our country.
Why are coaches idiots? They are not idiots. They are the most dedicated individuals on the face of the earth. They just need to understand their bodies a little bit better so they can be effective leaders. For, if they are effective leaders, then they are going to create effective leaders for the future of our country.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have an amazing day!
Coach Papa
First of all, we must agree that coaches are in fact idiots.
Help me out here. I want you to think about the person that most often becomes a coach. He was a competitor. Quite often, a very talented competitor. He was a person who prepared religiously for every match and gave it his all once the competition began. Then, once it became clear to him or her that they were no longer able to effectively compete, they became a coach to help others be the best they could be.
This person is still the most caring, hard working, dedicated individual he or she ever was during their competitive years. Then, it happens. They are coaching their team in their first competition. During the competition a referee makes a bad call and the coach is all over him or her for it. Next, one of the athletes makes a huge mistake that is costly to the team. So the coach subs for the athlete and gives them a piece of his mind at the top of his voice. The pattern continues. The parents, athletes and referees all think this coach is a clown.
They are wrong. This young coach probably has the potential to become one of the finest coaches in the sport. The problem is chemicals. That’s right, chemicals. You see, when a competitor is preparing for a match, their body is sending out a number of chemicals to help the body sustain throughout this intense period. It is the age old case of flight or flight preparation that starts the adrenalin and other chemicals loading into the system. Once the competition begins, these chemicals are being used by the body to carry them though. The coach was once a competitor. A very good competitor. His body goes through the same preparation for a match as it did when he was young and competing. The problem is that now he is standing on the side line with no where to burn off these chemicals, except through his mouth and his actions. So he does. And, since he does, he gives all the appearance of being an idiot. Such is not the case. As a matter of fact, with a little proper training, this coach can learn to use those chemicals to turn him or her into to the budding genius that they probably are.
First of all, the coach must learn to channel their energy into thought processes, not action processes.
Second, in understanding the nature of his or her situation, they shoud take the time to do a some exercises that will burn off enough of the excess chemicals to get them down to a managable level. Then, when the match begins, they should have something to capture their thoughts on. A clipboard, a note book or maybe a minature tape recorder.
Finally, they should train themselves not to say a word to the team, or an individual athlete, until they have talked the situation over with a personal confidant. Someone who can help to keep the situation in perspective. If the team is not getting the calls from the referee, the coach should talk it over with the referee in a calm manner, asking for an explanation. If there is time out called, or a substitution made to discuss problems the team is having, talk over what you are going to say with your assistant. Or, anyone else you may have identified as your sounding board. It is vital that the coach remains in positive control of all situations at all times.
The reason you must remain in control is that you are not just training these young men and women in the sport you are coaching. You are training them on how to deal with life’s little situations. If you are an idiot, than you are training idiots. If you are calm, cool and under control, then you are training these fine young people to become the future leaders of our country.
Why are coaches idiots? They are not idiots. They are the most dedicated individuals on the face of the earth. They just need to understand their bodies a little bit better so they can be effective leaders. For, if they are effective leaders, then they are going to create effective leaders for the future of our country.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have an amazing day!
Coach Papa
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Leadership lessons from a flock of geese
What can we learn about leadership from a flock of geese? These are clearly not the most intelligent creatures. They are messy, noisy, to the point of annoying, and they are not all that nice either, as you will find that you ever approach their young.
So, what can we learn from flock of geese? There are three things you'll notice about every flock of geese. The first thing you'll notice is they always fly in a V formation. The second thing you'll notice is that there is temporary confusion from time to time as they are flying . A final thing you'll notice is that one leg of the V is always longer than the other.
Let's address the first thing first. Why do geese fly in a V formation? This is easy. A single goose, by him or herself, can only fly 60 to 70 miles a day. However, a flock of geese flying in the formation, can fly hundreds of miles a day. Here's why. When the lead goose moves his wings in a downward motion, he creates an updraft that the goose right behind him is riding on. As the second goose flaps its wings down on the updraft it creates an updraft for the one behind him and so on to the end of the V. However, if you think about what I said earlier, you realize that even in this formation, the lead goose could only fly 60 miles. Therefore the flock could only fly 60 miles if they didn't relieve each other every so often. That brings to light the second thing you notice, temporary confusion. As the one who's the leader gets winded, he turns the team over to the next goose. By doing this, the flock of geese fly hundreds of miles for a single goose could only fly 60.
Now that we've explained the first two things noticed, what is the reason one leg of the V is always longer than the other? It's simple, because geese can't count. As I mentioned before, the are clearly not the most intelligent creatures. Which tells me, the leadership is a very natural thing to do. Human beings, as relatively intelligent creatures, at least some of us, have a tendency to overthink leadership. If we would take a few lessons from geese, we would be a lot better off. The lead goose serves the rest of the geese by creating an updraft for them to make their job easier. As a leader, we would look pretty silly flapping our arms and telling people that we are doing this to make their job easier. However, there are many things we can do to accomplish that task. We can give them the tools they need to get the job done. We can give them the time they need to get the job done. We can give them the training they need to get the job done. We could listen to their needs and provide what they need to get the job done. Bottom line is that we as leaders are here to serve, not to be served.
The second lesson we can learn from these silly creatures is that every once in a while we need to give up the reins to be successful. And, goodness knows when it's time to turn over the lead to the next goose, we reasonably intelligent creatures hold onto the reins until we can't lift another finger. Michael Jordan got a lot of grief when he stepped away from the game of basketball the first time. But he, like the goose, realized that he needed to step away for a while. Many great athletes, like Michael, stepped away from the game, and then made successful comebacks. However, the comebacks never lasted as long as their initial run. As a leader, you need to ask yourself the question. How long am I going to be able to keep up this pace?l.
If you keep your life in balance, you can keep going a lot longer than you think. However, if you don't take some time away from the front of the flock every so often, your day will be done very soon.
Your turn will come to lead the flock., When it does, enjoy every second. Make sure you take a little time for yourself, so that you can give your team what they need.
Now, get off the bench, and get back in the game.
Have an amazing day,
Coach Papa
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Leading from the Rear
When most people think of a leader, they think the guy in front of the charge. The guy with the sword held high carrying the flag saying take that hill. And, there are times the leader must be in front of the organization, setting the example.
However, that is most often not the case. It is actually easier to lead from the front then it is to maintain a rear position and still be in charge. An effective leader is almost never near the front line operation. Managers, on the other hand, need to be at the frontline so they know the job is being done the way they want it. Leaders know the job is being done whether they see it, or not.
It comes down to training, trust and communication. When your subordinate leaders have been properly trained, the only thing they need is your guidance to get the job done. You will never hear someone being accused of micro leading. Yet, micromanaging has become commonplace in the world of management.
In order to lead from the rear, two things must happen. Number one, your subordinate leaders must know how you think act and feel. If they do not know who you are, they cannot lead on your behalf. Second, once you have given them guidance, get out of their way. If you have given them what they need to do the job, the last thing they need is you.
Over my life, I have worked in several different types of organizations. Me personally, I could never work in a management based organization again. I've witnessed time and time again how management stifles creativity and limits the ability of people to do incredible things. I was a plant manager in a leadership based organization. It was family owned and operated and you felt good while doing the job. Then, the company was sold to a management based corporation. I watched as an organization that had grown in double digits for the past several years was completely destroyed within two years of the buyout. The corporation who bought the company, blamed the economy for the failure. Whatever. When the original owners bought the company back for a fraction of what they sold it for, it once again became a thriving, successful company.
This brings to mind a phrase that I have witnessed an action. A leader can successfully manage, but a manager will very seldom lead.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game.
Have an amazing day,
Coach Papa
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
More Lessons From the Team
Wow! It's amazing the lessons you can learn when you just slow down and pay attention. Today's lesson is on procrastination.
Our girls are very good basketball players. They were 13 and 1 going into the final game of the season. They started the final game on fire, but quickly went cold. More than cold, they turned into ice. At the end of the third-quarter they were losing 21 to 5. My daughter, the head coach, did something amazing at this point. She looked at the girls and said, "just go out and play basketball." No pressure, no screaming, just go out and play basketball. And, that is what they did. With a minute and 13 seconds left, they were winning 27 to 25.
Now, your comes the lesson on procrastination. They had given it everything they had, but they ran out of gas just short of victory. The final was 29 to 27 in favor of the other team. If only, they had just started playing basketball, a little bit earlier.
And, don't many of us do the same thing? We wait until the fourth quarter, and we are behind before we start doing the things we know will make us successful.
So, here's my challenge for you today. And, by challenge for you, I mean challenge for me, also. Today, let's do the things that we know how to do. Let's make that extra phone call. Let's make one more appointment. Let's have the confidence this is going to be our best day ever.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Make it an amazing day.
Coach Papa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)