A man had lost his job. He had an interview for a new job, but traffic kept him from making the appointment. The lottery ticket he bought that day didn't even win. He was having a bad day.
After dinner, he went for a walk along the beach. As he strolled along, barefoot in the sand, with the sun setting in the West, his foot struck something. He reached down and picked it up. It was a small bag full of marbles. "Just my luck," he thought.
Then, he had an idea. He took a marble out of the bag and tossed it into the sea as he said, “This for that stupid job. I didn't like that job anyway.”
“That felt good,” he said as he took out the second marble. "This is for traffic. I hate traffic."
“That felt really good,” he said as he grabbed the next one.
This went on for the better part of an hour. In the beginning, the marbles went pretty fast. As he was getting to the bottom of the bag, he really had to think. But, over the course of that hour, he had let go of all of the things that had been holding him back. He had two marbles left. He took one of them in his hand and said, “Here is for all of the good choices I am going to make going forward in my life." He threw that marble as hard as he had ever thrown anything in his life. As he heard in plunk in the water, he decided to keep the last marble as a memory of this night. He had not felt so good in a long time. He had thrown all of his troubles into the sea and he was ready for a new beginning. He put the marble in his pocket and went home with a new bounce in his step.
At home, his wife noticed a difference in him right away. She asked, "What have you been up to?"
He smiled and took the marble out of his pocket and showed it to her. He was going to tell her how he threw all of his troubles into the sea and he was ready for a fresh start.
Before he could say a word, she said, “What a beautiful Pearl. Where did you get it?”
He looked at his hand. He was, in fact, holding an absolutely beautiful pearl. A pearl that would change their lives, forever. He sold the pearl and paid all of their debt and did get that new beginning. From time to time he thought about that walk along the beach. His old self would have been full of self pity for all the pearls he threw away. His new self knew that is was the best walk he had ever taken.
There three morals to this story:
The first moral is:
What looks like a bag of marbles may be a bag of pearls - These pearls are your friends and your family. Your clients and your referral partners. Your neighbors and anyone else you associate with. Are you shining these pearls and wearing them proudly. Or, are you throwing them away one by one?
The second moral is:
When you let go of your troubles good things will happen to you. So many people are focused on all of the negative situations around them and they never see the amazing world that is right in front of them.
And, finally, the most important moral of this story is:
When you bring home a pearl to mamma, she will be happy. And, when mamma is happy, nothing else matters.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Communication
Do you really want to reach out and catch your dreams?
Then, you must learn how to communicate. Good communication skills are the center of every successful
relationship. Bad communication skills are involved in every failure. Most of the problem with communicators is not that they do not know what to say. It is that they do not know how to say it. Something pops into their mind falls immediately out of their mouth.
Effective communication is the secret to getting what you want out of life. To be effective, the communication has to be honest, sincere and open. It has to be well thought out in advance. It has to be arranged with the receiver in mind. A wise man once told me the secret to successful communication. He was not a wise man when he told it to me. Actually, he was probably the opposite in my eyes at that time. You see, the wise man was my father. When I was a teenager, he did not know near as much as he knows now.
What he told me was this, “Tell people what they want to hear. This will make them listen to you. Then, while they are listening, tell them what they need to hear.” I asked him one day where he learned this profound bit of knowledge. He said he picked it up by watching politicians. They do it all the time.
Think about this the next time you are going to communicate. It does not matter if it is a one on one situation or if you are speaking to an audience. Take the time to learn and understand what you listeners want to hear. Next, think about what you want them to hear. Then, plan your communication so that it all of this information is included. Finally, follow up with them to ensure that what they think you said is actually, what you meant to communicate. Communicate effectively and you will be getting even closer to achieving your dreams.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Coach Papa
Then, you must learn how to communicate. Good communication skills are the center of every successful
relationship. Bad communication skills are involved in every failure. Most of the problem with communicators is not that they do not know what to say. It is that they do not know how to say it. Something pops into their mind falls immediately out of their mouth.
Effective communication is the secret to getting what you want out of life. To be effective, the communication has to be honest, sincere and open. It has to be well thought out in advance. It has to be arranged with the receiver in mind. A wise man once told me the secret to successful communication. He was not a wise man when he told it to me. Actually, he was probably the opposite in my eyes at that time. You see, the wise man was my father. When I was a teenager, he did not know near as much as he knows now.
What he told me was this, “Tell people what they want to hear. This will make them listen to you. Then, while they are listening, tell them what they need to hear.” I asked him one day where he learned this profound bit of knowledge. He said he picked it up by watching politicians. They do it all the time.
Think about this the next time you are going to communicate. It does not matter if it is a one on one situation or if you are speaking to an audience. Take the time to learn and understand what you listeners want to hear. Next, think about what you want them to hear. Then, plan your communication so that it all of this information is included. Finally, follow up with them to ensure that what they think you said is actually, what you meant to communicate. Communicate effectively and you will be getting even closer to achieving your dreams.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Coach Papa
Friday, March 21, 2014
Direction in Your Life
A map instructor early in my military career made two statements that have stuck with me for life.
The first was, “It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there?” The second was, “You are never lost if you don’t care where you are.
Profound? Not at the time. They seemed like a waste of breath. It took years before the actual meaning of those statements filtered through this thick skull of mine. Roughly translated, the second phrase means this. “You are never going to be successful if you don’t care what you are doing.” If you are content with any job, as long as it provides enough money to keep a roof over your head and food on your table and electricity to your refrigerator for cold beer, then you are not going to be successful. Unless, of course, that is your definition of success.
Or, maybe that is the problem. You have never defined success.
What does success mean to you?
What do you have to do to achieve it?
Answer these two questions, and you are on your way to becoming a leader.
The good news lies in the first phrase. It doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done.
Have you made some mistakes in your life?
Did you not go to college when your peers did because you wanted to “Relax” a little?
Did you get involved with the bleeders of society?
Did you fail to apply yourself in school?
Have negative influences taken over your life?
Well, take it back!
It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now.
Where are you going to go?
Where are you going to go? That is asking for the definition of success that I mentioned earlier.
What is success to you? Is it an office job with the big bucks? Is it inventing a better mouse trap? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer? Is it teaching, or coaching, or farming or being the best darn diesel mechanic in the state?
What it is doesn’t matter as long as you have defined what success means to you. That definition is the motivation that will give you a reason to go on.
“-How are you going to get there?” Once you have defined success, you must find the path that will take you there. The path is relatively easy to find. It is right in front you. All you have to do is to open your eyes and follow it. It is kind like doing a maze. The easiest way to solve it is to look at the end and follow the path back to the beginning. In this case, you look at your definition of success. That is your goal. Then you start back tracking to where you are in your life right now. As with a maze, the objects that look like road blocks from the front are simply obstacles that can be readily overcome.
Here is an example: You are a woman in your mid thirties who always wanted to be a nurse. However, things came along that got in your way. Road blocks shall we say. Things like husbands, children, and time. Minor details. Then, one day you sit down and look at your definition of success. That definition has multiple parts. To be a good mother, a good wife and to become a nurse. You could say to yourself that two out of three ain’t bad. Or, you could start checking into nursing programs and see if there is a way that you can achieve all three. You might be surprised at the answer. Just ask my wife. She is the person in this example. She wasn’t satisfied with two out of three. Now, she has it all.
You have to have direction in your life to become a leader. It is mandatory. If you are not going any place, nobody is going to follow you. That direction is your definition of success. If you are happy going to that job just because it pays the bills, then by all means keep going. It leaves more room at the top for the rest of us.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have and amazing day,
Coach Papa
The first was, “It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there?” The second was, “You are never lost if you don’t care where you are.
Profound? Not at the time. They seemed like a waste of breath. It took years before the actual meaning of those statements filtered through this thick skull of mine. Roughly translated, the second phrase means this. “You are never going to be successful if you don’t care what you are doing.” If you are content with any job, as long as it provides enough money to keep a roof over your head and food on your table and electricity to your refrigerator for cold beer, then you are not going to be successful. Unless, of course, that is your definition of success.
Or, maybe that is the problem. You have never defined success.
What does success mean to you?
What do you have to do to achieve it?
Answer these two questions, and you are on your way to becoming a leader.
The good news lies in the first phrase. It doesn’t matter where you have been or what you have done.
Have you made some mistakes in your life?
Did you not go to college when your peers did because you wanted to “Relax” a little?
Did you get involved with the bleeders of society?
Did you fail to apply yourself in school?
Have negative influences taken over your life?
Well, take it back!
It doesn’t matter where you have been. You are here now.
Where are you going to go?
Where are you going to go? That is asking for the definition of success that I mentioned earlier.
What is success to you? Is it an office job with the big bucks? Is it inventing a better mouse trap? Is it becoming a doctor or lawyer? Is it teaching, or coaching, or farming or being the best darn diesel mechanic in the state?
What it is doesn’t matter as long as you have defined what success means to you. That definition is the motivation that will give you a reason to go on.
“-How are you going to get there?” Once you have defined success, you must find the path that will take you there. The path is relatively easy to find. It is right in front you. All you have to do is to open your eyes and follow it. It is kind like doing a maze. The easiest way to solve it is to look at the end and follow the path back to the beginning. In this case, you look at your definition of success. That is your goal. Then you start back tracking to where you are in your life right now. As with a maze, the objects that look like road blocks from the front are simply obstacles that can be readily overcome.
Here is an example: You are a woman in your mid thirties who always wanted to be a nurse. However, things came along that got in your way. Road blocks shall we say. Things like husbands, children, and time. Minor details. Then, one day you sit down and look at your definition of success. That definition has multiple parts. To be a good mother, a good wife and to become a nurse. You could say to yourself that two out of three ain’t bad. Or, you could start checking into nursing programs and see if there is a way that you can achieve all three. You might be surprised at the answer. Just ask my wife. She is the person in this example. She wasn’t satisfied with two out of three. Now, she has it all.
You have to have direction in your life to become a leader. It is mandatory. If you are not going any place, nobody is going to follow you. That direction is your definition of success. If you are happy going to that job just because it pays the bills, then by all means keep going. It leaves more room at the top for the rest of us.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have and amazing day,
Coach Papa
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Why Are Coaches Idiots?
Are coaches idiots?
First of all, we must agree that coaches are in fact idiots.
Help me out here. I want you to think about the person that most often becomes a coach. He was a competitor. Quite often, a very talented competitor. He was a person who prepared religiously for every match and gave it his all once the competition began. Then, once it became clear to him or her that they were no longer able to effectively compete, they became a coach to help others be the best they could be.
This person is still the most caring, hard working, dedicated individual he or she ever was during their competitive years. Then, it happens. They are coaching their team in their first competition. During the competition a referee makes a bad call and the coach is all over him or her for it. Next, one of the athletes makes a huge mistake that is costly to the team. So the coach subs for the athlete and gives them a piece of his mind at the top of his voice. The pattern continues. The parents, athletes and referees all think this coach is a clown.
They are wrong. This young coach probably has the potential to become one of the finest coaches in the sport. The problem is chemicals. That’s right, chemicals. You see, when a competitor is preparing for a match, their body is sending out a number of chemicals to help the body sustain throughout this intense period. It is the age old case of flight or flight preparation that starts the adrenalin and other chemicals loading into the system. Once the competition begins, these chemicals are being used by the body to carry them though. The coach was once a competitor. A very good competitor. His body goes through the same preparation for a match as it did when he was young and competing. The problem is that now he is standing on the side line with no where to burn off these chemicals, except through his mouth and his actions. So he does. And, since he does, he gives all the appearance of being an idiot. Such is not the case. As a matter of fact, with a little proper training, this coach can learn to use those chemicals to turn him or her into to the budding genius that they probably are.
First of all, the coach must learn to channel their energy into thought processes, not action processes.
Second, in understanding the nature of his or her situation, they shoud take the time to do a some exercises that will burn off enough of the excess chemicals to get them down to a managable level. Then, when the match begins, they should have something to capture their thoughts on. A clipboard, a note book or maybe a minature tape recorder.
Finally, they should train themselves not to say a word to the team, or an individual athlete, until they have talked the situation over with a personal confidant. Someone who can help to keep the situation in perspective. If the team is not getting the calls from the referee, the coach should talk it over with the referee in a calm manner, asking for an explanation. If there is time out called, or a substitution made to discuss problems the team is having, talk over what you are going to say with your assistant. Or, anyone else you may have identified as your sounding board. It is vital that the coach remains in positive control of all situations at all times.
The reason you must remain in control is that you are not just training these young men and women in the sport you are coaching. You are training them on how to deal with life’s little situations. If you are an idiot, than you are training idiots. If you are calm, cool and under control, then you are training these fine young people to become the future leaders of our country.
Why are coaches idiots? They are not idiots. They are the most dedicated individuals on the face of the earth. They just need to understand their bodies a little bit better so they can be effective leaders. For, if they are effective leaders, then they are going to create effective leaders for the future of our country.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have an amazing day!
Coach Papa
First of all, we must agree that coaches are in fact idiots.
Help me out here. I want you to think about the person that most often becomes a coach. He was a competitor. Quite often, a very talented competitor. He was a person who prepared religiously for every match and gave it his all once the competition began. Then, once it became clear to him or her that they were no longer able to effectively compete, they became a coach to help others be the best they could be.
This person is still the most caring, hard working, dedicated individual he or she ever was during their competitive years. Then, it happens. They are coaching their team in their first competition. During the competition a referee makes a bad call and the coach is all over him or her for it. Next, one of the athletes makes a huge mistake that is costly to the team. So the coach subs for the athlete and gives them a piece of his mind at the top of his voice. The pattern continues. The parents, athletes and referees all think this coach is a clown.
They are wrong. This young coach probably has the potential to become one of the finest coaches in the sport. The problem is chemicals. That’s right, chemicals. You see, when a competitor is preparing for a match, their body is sending out a number of chemicals to help the body sustain throughout this intense period. It is the age old case of flight or flight preparation that starts the adrenalin and other chemicals loading into the system. Once the competition begins, these chemicals are being used by the body to carry them though. The coach was once a competitor. A very good competitor. His body goes through the same preparation for a match as it did when he was young and competing. The problem is that now he is standing on the side line with no where to burn off these chemicals, except through his mouth and his actions. So he does. And, since he does, he gives all the appearance of being an idiot. Such is not the case. As a matter of fact, with a little proper training, this coach can learn to use those chemicals to turn him or her into to the budding genius that they probably are.
First of all, the coach must learn to channel their energy into thought processes, not action processes.
Second, in understanding the nature of his or her situation, they shoud take the time to do a some exercises that will burn off enough of the excess chemicals to get them down to a managable level. Then, when the match begins, they should have something to capture their thoughts on. A clipboard, a note book or maybe a minature tape recorder.
Finally, they should train themselves not to say a word to the team, or an individual athlete, until they have talked the situation over with a personal confidant. Someone who can help to keep the situation in perspective. If the team is not getting the calls from the referee, the coach should talk it over with the referee in a calm manner, asking for an explanation. If there is time out called, or a substitution made to discuss problems the team is having, talk over what you are going to say with your assistant. Or, anyone else you may have identified as your sounding board. It is vital that the coach remains in positive control of all situations at all times.
The reason you must remain in control is that you are not just training these young men and women in the sport you are coaching. You are training them on how to deal with life’s little situations. If you are an idiot, than you are training idiots. If you are calm, cool and under control, then you are training these fine young people to become the future leaders of our country.
Why are coaches idiots? They are not idiots. They are the most dedicated individuals on the face of the earth. They just need to understand their bodies a little bit better so they can be effective leaders. For, if they are effective leaders, then they are going to create effective leaders for the future of our country.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game!
Have an amazing day!
Coach Papa
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Leadership lessons from a flock of geese
What can we learn about leadership from a flock of geese? These are clearly not the most intelligent creatures. They are messy, noisy, to the point of annoying, and they are not all that nice either, as you will find that you ever approach their young.
So, what can we learn from flock of geese? There are three things you'll notice about every flock of geese. The first thing you'll notice is they always fly in a V formation. The second thing you'll notice is that there is temporary confusion from time to time as they are flying . A final thing you'll notice is that one leg of the V is always longer than the other.
Let's address the first thing first. Why do geese fly in a V formation? This is easy. A single goose, by him or herself, can only fly 60 to 70 miles a day. However, a flock of geese flying in the formation, can fly hundreds of miles a day. Here's why. When the lead goose moves his wings in a downward motion, he creates an updraft that the goose right behind him is riding on. As the second goose flaps its wings down on the updraft it creates an updraft for the one behind him and so on to the end of the V. However, if you think about what I said earlier, you realize that even in this formation, the lead goose could only fly 60 miles. Therefore the flock could only fly 60 miles if they didn't relieve each other every so often. That brings to light the second thing you notice, temporary confusion. As the one who's the leader gets winded, he turns the team over to the next goose. By doing this, the flock of geese fly hundreds of miles for a single goose could only fly 60.
Now that we've explained the first two things noticed, what is the reason one leg of the V is always longer than the other? It's simple, because geese can't count. As I mentioned before, the are clearly not the most intelligent creatures. Which tells me, the leadership is a very natural thing to do. Human beings, as relatively intelligent creatures, at least some of us, have a tendency to overthink leadership. If we would take a few lessons from geese, we would be a lot better off. The lead goose serves the rest of the geese by creating an updraft for them to make their job easier. As a leader, we would look pretty silly flapping our arms and telling people that we are doing this to make their job easier. However, there are many things we can do to accomplish that task. We can give them the tools they need to get the job done. We can give them the time they need to get the job done. We can give them the training they need to get the job done. We could listen to their needs and provide what they need to get the job done. Bottom line is that we as leaders are here to serve, not to be served.
The second lesson we can learn from these silly creatures is that every once in a while we need to give up the reins to be successful. And, goodness knows when it's time to turn over the lead to the next goose, we reasonably intelligent creatures hold onto the reins until we can't lift another finger. Michael Jordan got a lot of grief when he stepped away from the game of basketball the first time. But he, like the goose, realized that he needed to step away for a while. Many great athletes, like Michael, stepped away from the game, and then made successful comebacks. However, the comebacks never lasted as long as their initial run. As a leader, you need to ask yourself the question. How long am I going to be able to keep up this pace?l.
If you keep your life in balance, you can keep going a lot longer than you think. However, if you don't take some time away from the front of the flock every so often, your day will be done very soon.
Your turn will come to lead the flock., When it does, enjoy every second. Make sure you take a little time for yourself, so that you can give your team what they need.
Now, get off the bench, and get back in the game.
Have an amazing day,
Coach Papa
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Leading from the Rear
When most people think of a leader, they think the guy in front of the charge. The guy with the sword held high carrying the flag saying take that hill. And, there are times the leader must be in front of the organization, setting the example.
However, that is most often not the case. It is actually easier to lead from the front then it is to maintain a rear position and still be in charge. An effective leader is almost never near the front line operation. Managers, on the other hand, need to be at the frontline so they know the job is being done the way they want it. Leaders know the job is being done whether they see it, or not.
It comes down to training, trust and communication. When your subordinate leaders have been properly trained, the only thing they need is your guidance to get the job done. You will never hear someone being accused of micro leading. Yet, micromanaging has become commonplace in the world of management.
In order to lead from the rear, two things must happen. Number one, your subordinate leaders must know how you think act and feel. If they do not know who you are, they cannot lead on your behalf. Second, once you have given them guidance, get out of their way. If you have given them what they need to do the job, the last thing they need is you.
Over my life, I have worked in several different types of organizations. Me personally, I could never work in a management based organization again. I've witnessed time and time again how management stifles creativity and limits the ability of people to do incredible things. I was a plant manager in a leadership based organization. It was family owned and operated and you felt good while doing the job. Then, the company was sold to a management based corporation. I watched as an organization that had grown in double digits for the past several years was completely destroyed within two years of the buyout. The corporation who bought the company, blamed the economy for the failure. Whatever. When the original owners bought the company back for a fraction of what they sold it for, it once again became a thriving, successful company.
This brings to mind a phrase that I have witnessed an action. A leader can successfully manage, but a manager will very seldom lead.
Now, get off the bench and get back in the game.
Have an amazing day,
Coach Papa
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
More Lessons From the Team
Wow! It's amazing the lessons you can learn when you just slow down and pay attention. Today's lesson is on procrastination.
Our girls are very good basketball players. They were 13 and 1 going into the final game of the season. They started the final game on fire, but quickly went cold. More than cold, they turned into ice. At the end of the third-quarter they were losing 21 to 5. My daughter, the head coach, did something amazing at this point. She looked at the girls and said, "just go out and play basketball." No pressure, no screaming, just go out and play basketball. And, that is what they did. With a minute and 13 seconds left, they were winning 27 to 25.
Now, your comes the lesson on procrastination. They had given it everything they had, but they ran out of gas just short of victory. The final was 29 to 27 in favor of the other team. If only, they had just started playing basketball, a little bit earlier.
And, don't many of us do the same thing? We wait until the fourth quarter, and we are behind before we start doing the things we know will make us successful.
So, here's my challenge for you today. And, by challenge for you, I mean challenge for me, also. Today, let's do the things that we know how to do. Let's make that extra phone call. Let's make one more appointment. Let's have the confidence this is going to be our best day ever.
Now, get off the bench and get into the game.
Make it an amazing day.
Coach Papa
Monday, February 10, 2014
Stop the Bleeding
Stop the Bleeding
Leadership is the ability to influence someone to do something positive. That’s right. Positive.
Nay you say. There are many negative leaders in the world. They are the drug lords of the world. They are the gang leaders. They are the politicians.
I am here to tell you that these people, if they can be called people, are not leaders. Leadership is a positive attribute. The people mentioned above are bleeders. They practice bleedership. Let me explain the difference.
Leaders are there for you. Bleeders are not. A leader will be there for you when times are rough. A bleeder will not. A leader will take you by the hand and guide you to better times. A bleeder will point a finger at you to protect themselves. The only time a bleeder will take you by the hand is to drag you down with them.
A leader is a person, who by positive example, has made the world a better place to live. A bleeder, through negative influences, has made the world a dangerous place to live. A leader gives back to the community that has given them the opportunity to lead. A bleeder takes from the community and gives only grief in return.
A leader is willing to do whatever they are asked to do. A leader has ‘Been There, Done That’ and is willing to teach you to do the same. A bleeder is none of that. A bleeder convinces you to do things using negative influence. A bleeder gets you to do the things that are too dangerous for them, but are necessary for profit.
Leaders are driven by need. Bleeders are driven by greed. Don’t get me wrong. Leaders can make a lot of money. But they earn the money because of their desire to do things the right way for the right reasons. Bleeders do not let morality get in the way of making a dollar.
At this point, let me bring the politicians, as a group, up from the realm of bleedership and into the domain of leadership. While, there are many in the political arena who have turned into bleeders, they are the minority. Most of the people who have chosen to seek public office have done so to serve and protect their constituents. They have done it for the right reason.
What happened to them?
Why do they become bleeders?
Simple. In order to become a leader, you must be led. The inverse is also true. You are going to become a bleeder if you are constantly being bled.
Why are there bleeders?
Because we allow the bleeding to continue. If we are going to stop the flow of blood, we must apply pressure to the wounds. The pressure we must apply is a dressing of leadership.
How are we going to stop the bleeding from so many wounds?
The first thing that we need to do is develop a dressing capable of stopping the bleeding. This means that we need to begin developing leadership that is strong enough to withstand the pressure of the bleeders in our society. The world is looking for great leaders. We need to stop looking for them and start making them.
We need to take a look at what our children are learning, in and out of school. We need to provide them with positive leadership and role models if we expect them to resist the pressure of the bleeders. We need to teach them leadership. Leaders are made, not born.
It is leadership that will make the difference. It is doing the right things for the right reasons that will stop the bleeding. It starts in the home, but it must be evident in all aspects of life.
Be a leader.
Make a leader.
Together, we can stop the bleeding.
Have an Amazing Day,
Coach Papa
Leadership is the ability to influence someone to do something positive. That’s right. Positive.
Nay you say. There are many negative leaders in the world. They are the drug lords of the world. They are the gang leaders. They are the politicians.
I am here to tell you that these people, if they can be called people, are not leaders. Leadership is a positive attribute. The people mentioned above are bleeders. They practice bleedership. Let me explain the difference.
Leaders are there for you. Bleeders are not. A leader will be there for you when times are rough. A bleeder will not. A leader will take you by the hand and guide you to better times. A bleeder will point a finger at you to protect themselves. The only time a bleeder will take you by the hand is to drag you down with them.
A leader is a person, who by positive example, has made the world a better place to live. A bleeder, through negative influences, has made the world a dangerous place to live. A leader gives back to the community that has given them the opportunity to lead. A bleeder takes from the community and gives only grief in return.
A leader is willing to do whatever they are asked to do. A leader has ‘Been There, Done That’ and is willing to teach you to do the same. A bleeder is none of that. A bleeder convinces you to do things using negative influence. A bleeder gets you to do the things that are too dangerous for them, but are necessary for profit.
Leaders are driven by need. Bleeders are driven by greed. Don’t get me wrong. Leaders can make a lot of money. But they earn the money because of their desire to do things the right way for the right reasons. Bleeders do not let morality get in the way of making a dollar.
At this point, let me bring the politicians, as a group, up from the realm of bleedership and into the domain of leadership. While, there are many in the political arena who have turned into bleeders, they are the minority. Most of the people who have chosen to seek public office have done so to serve and protect their constituents. They have done it for the right reason.
What happened to them?
Why do they become bleeders?
Simple. In order to become a leader, you must be led. The inverse is also true. You are going to become a bleeder if you are constantly being bled.
Why are there bleeders?
Because we allow the bleeding to continue. If we are going to stop the flow of blood, we must apply pressure to the wounds. The pressure we must apply is a dressing of leadership.
How are we going to stop the bleeding from so many wounds?
The first thing that we need to do is develop a dressing capable of stopping the bleeding. This means that we need to begin developing leadership that is strong enough to withstand the pressure of the bleeders in our society. The world is looking for great leaders. We need to stop looking for them and start making them.
We need to take a look at what our children are learning, in and out of school. We need to provide them with positive leadership and role models if we expect them to resist the pressure of the bleeders. We need to teach them leadership. Leaders are made, not born.
It is leadership that will make the difference. It is doing the right things for the right reasons that will stop the bleeding. It starts in the home, but it must be evident in all aspects of life.
Be a leader.
Make a leader.
Together, we can stop the bleeding.
Have an Amazing Day,
Coach Papa
Friday, February 7, 2014
College Communications Interview for Rick Ceh
Rick Ceh is my coaching mentor and National 'D' License certifying instructor. Rick is back in college with a goal of becoming a personal coach as well as a soccer coach/coach instructor. This survey is for a Communications Class at Elgin Community College.
1. What kind of job do you have right now?
a. I am a nationally licensed soccer coach working for Skills First Soccer in McHenry Illinois. I also am a self employed as an Executive Leadership Coach working with CEO/COO level managers in larger companies and corporations. I also work with entrepreneurs and small business owner collectively also coaching them through leadership issues. I am also a published author and speaker on topics ranging from leadership and networking to just plain old story telling.
2. How long have you been working in your current field?
a. As an athletic coach, for 37 years
b. As a leadership coach, for 7 years
c. As a speaker, author, for 25 years
3. What do you do during a typical day? What are your responsibilities?
a. A typical day for me begins between 5:30 and 6:30 in the gym, either playing basketball, studying martial arts, or lifting and cardio workouts. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I am in networking meetings from 7:30 to 8:30 growing relationships with other business owners. Between 10:00 am and 2:00 pm, I am meeting with individual clients, coaching them through the 11 leadership principles, the 14 leadership characteristics, or teaching them the Be-Know-Do style of leadership. At 2:00 pm, I begin changing my mind from business to the athletic field. I am currently coaching 7thgrade girls basketball, and have two club level soccer teams that I coach either at practices, or at games. When I get home in the evening, I catch up on my communications such as texts, e-mails and voice-mails that I received during technology down time, which is my coaching time, when the athletes deserve my undivided attention.
4. How much of your job is related to communications? (Listening, speaking, reading, writing)
a. 110% of my day is spent doing one of the above.
5. Please give some examples of the types of communications you engage in at work. (Write memos, letters, give presentations, group meetings, etc)
a. I Emcee between 10 and 20 events every year, many of them charitable events where I define myself as a ‘Separator’. I separate people from the wallets for good causes.
b. To build my leadership coaching practice, I do about 50 engagements a years teaching leadership at the chamber and networking level, giving the attendees the opportunity to enter a coaching relationship if they so desire.
c. I communicate to my soccer teams and their parents through e-mail and group meetings.
d. I do story telling for all ages from 4 to 94. As a published poet and speaker, we all have a lot of fun at these events.
e. The list goes on
6. Have you ever taken business communications classes or had workshops in high school? In college? In the work place? If yes, what kind of classes or workshops did you have?
a. Yes. Yes. And, Yes. In high school I enjoyed speech so much that I was entered in state competition against other schools, from which I earned a superior+ rating. My degree is at General Studies degree with a triple minor in Business Administration, Management and Psychology. I am also a certified Military Instructor Trainer have been the Senior Drill Instructor at the Officer Candidate School. What type of training? Pretty much the whole spectrum from instructional speaking to motivational/inspirational talks. Did I mention that I am also an ordained minister with several sermons in my bag of tricks?
7. Discuss a difficult communications situation you have had to face and how did you deal with the situation? I was once asked to speak at a meeting about three months before the meeting. As we approached the meeting, I called the organizer to get more particulars on the meeting. Time, topic, etc… I was informed at that time that I was not on the agenda. We attended the meeting anyway. We arrived a few minutes late due to weather conditions and were seated as the first speaker was just finishing her presentation. Following the round of applause for that speaker, the Emcee stepped up the microphone and said, “Our next speaker is Tim Stewart.” I had not prepared or planned a single note. I had from my seat to the podium to prepare my talk. To this day, it may be one of my best presentations ever. (excluding the toast at my daughter’s wedding) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXV_XRlZ3dM
8. If you could learn/study anything to help you become a better communicator, what would you learn/study? Why?
a. I study the great speakers to see what works for them. I watch their mannerisms, their speech patterns and their timing. I am personally a big fan of Mr. Zig Ziglar and pattern much of my work after him. I have had the opportunity to present in the Ziglar offices in Plano, TX three times. I must be doing okay, because they keep asking me back.
9. Name the three most important things you have learned about communication in the workplace.
a. Listen/read well before you speak/write. If you are unclear on what is being said or asked, restate it in your own words to ensure you are on the right track.
b. When you speak or write, ask for feedback to ensure what you said is what their heard.
c. Wait 24 hours before responding to emotional outbursts. Give yourself and the other guy/gal a cooling off period so things are not said in the heat of the moment that are neither kind, respectful nor fruitful.
10. Do you have an advice for me or anything you would like to add in relation to communication in the workplace?
a. Steve Martin says, “Some people have a way with words. Others, not have way.” I believe that everyone has a way with words, if they will take the time and practice the right things to say and the right way to say them. In the military the tree elements of war are to move, shoot and communicate. If any one of these elements is compromised, the war will be lost. Good communication is the background for success in any organization. Poor communication is a ticket to failure.
Leadership lessons from my daily commute
Lessons learned from my daily commute.
As I stated a multitude of times, leadership lessons are everywhere. Today, as I was making my commute, I began looking around for the lessons. There is what I learned.
1. Leaders leave early.
2. Leaders leave room for another driver to pull in.
3. Leaders do not tailgate.
4. Leaders begin slowing down the moment the traffic light turns yellow.
5. Leaders use their turn signals.
6. Leaders don't talk on cell phones, or text, while driving.
7. Leaders look ahead so they can plan ahead.
8. Leaders check on a stranded motorist make sure they are okay. At the very least, they
will make a call to let someone know there was a stranded motorist.
will make a call to let someone know there was a stranded motorist.
9. Leaders wave of police officers using all of their fingers.
10. The bottom line is, leaders do the right things for the right reasons all the time.
They say the driving exposes your true character. Are you a leader when you drive?
Have an amazing day!
Coach Papa
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Out of the Actions of Youth
Out of the Actions of Youth
I have the opportunity to coach several young athletes. I find that the lessons I am learning from them are exactly the ones I need.
For example, one of the things I always preach is that making a mistake is not nearly as important as how you react to the mistake. Tonight, I saw that lesson at work. One of our young athletes, L, who is clearly the best athlete on the team, took an in bounds pass and scored a layup immediately in the opposing team's basket. L's history is one of getting down on herself when she makes a mistake. Not tonight. That layup brought the other team within 2 points of us with 1:42 left. All Miss L did over the next minute and forty-two seconds is to score 6 points, have an assist and 4 steals. Her layup made the score 21-19 in our favor. The final score was 33-19. L definitely let her response to the mistake far over ride the mistake.
Now, this brings up a couple of questions. Have I made any mistakes lately? And, how have I reacted to them?
My answers, in order of the questions, are; yes and OMG.
Amazing things not only come out of the mouths of babes. They show up in their actions as well.
And, the next question is, "Well, Coach Papa. What are you going to do now?"
I guess I am going to have to face up to some of my mistakes and decide how I am going to react to them.
Is it possible that you need to do a little soul searching as well?
Don't let me stop you. And, don't wait for me to write down all of my mistakes for the world to see. I am going to decide my next step on how to react to each of them. Then, I am going to attach each of my mistakes to a helium balloon and send them away on the next stiff breeze. After that, I am going to go watch my teams play another game so I can learn another life lesson.
Have a Wonder Filled Day,
Coach Papa
I have the opportunity to coach several young athletes. I find that the lessons I am learning from them are exactly the ones I need.
For example, one of the things I always preach is that making a mistake is not nearly as important as how you react to the mistake. Tonight, I saw that lesson at work. One of our young athletes, L, who is clearly the best athlete on the team, took an in bounds pass and scored a layup immediately in the opposing team's basket. L's history is one of getting down on herself when she makes a mistake. Not tonight. That layup brought the other team within 2 points of us with 1:42 left. All Miss L did over the next minute and forty-two seconds is to score 6 points, have an assist and 4 steals. Her layup made the score 21-19 in our favor. The final score was 33-19. L definitely let her response to the mistake far over ride the mistake.
Now, this brings up a couple of questions. Have I made any mistakes lately? And, how have I reacted to them?
My answers, in order of the questions, are; yes and OMG.
Amazing things not only come out of the mouths of babes. They show up in their actions as well.
And, the next question is, "Well, Coach Papa. What are you going to do now?"
I guess I am going to have to face up to some of my mistakes and decide how I am going to react to them.
Is it possible that you need to do a little soul searching as well?
Don't let me stop you. And, don't wait for me to write down all of my mistakes for the world to see. I am going to decide my next step on how to react to each of them. Then, I am going to attach each of my mistakes to a helium balloon and send them away on the next stiff breeze. After that, I am going to go watch my teams play another game so I can learn another life lesson.
Have a Wonder Filled Day,
Coach Papa
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
The Simplicity of True Leadership
This blog is going to be offered in conjunction with the Simplicity of True Leadership Program as taught by Tim Stewart – Executive Leadership Coach.
It will be a series of stories and lessons that support the teaching and coaching done throughout the program. It will also be available the public for those who wish to learn a little bit about leadership.
I look forward to being part of your life.
Sincerely,
Tim Stewart
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